‘Bad Mum-itis’

What is ‘Bad Mum-itis’?

I think we all suffer from this at some point. I know I have and still have my moments! I suppose Bad Mum-itis is your inner Mum conscience….


As Mums, we are constantly fighting a battle to be the ‘Supermum’, bake cakes, have a tidy house, make wholesome healthy meals every night or do something your friends did or just being better.  I’ve managed to keep two small humans alive, fed, watered and happy for 3 and 1.5yrs.

The fact remains; we are all GREAT Mums and we shouldn’t be second guessing ourselves or our ability. I think the very fact we do this to ourselves or strive for better makes us fantastic at what we do, because we care. 

These are exactly the values I want to instill in my children; not the negative side, but the positive: that I care about doing better, having the resilience to forget despite a bad day. Motherhood is a HUGE learning curve (a steep one too!) but that’s all part of the fun. I’m not ashamed to say I’m probably ‘winging it’ 99% of the time or take the easy route just for some peace and quiet (hence why my 19 month still co sleeps with us because I actually get some sleep!).

In light of recent events, I think we need to stop worrying about what you think you should be doing, or what you aren’t doing and start celebrating what you ARE doing. Because believe it or not, those little humans love you regardless. Live each day as it comes and cherish EVERY moment.

Review: Spokes Cafe, Harringworth

I stumbled across this new ‘Pop up Cafe’ in Harringworth last night whilst scrolling through Facebook. And wow, what a delight it is!

This weekend was the grand opening. Usual opening hours are Fri 10am-4pm and Sat-Sun 9am-5pm. Spokes Cafe was a real weekend treat. Set just off the main road through Harringworth, it will be popular with cyclists (hence the name I guess!).

I had a bacon bap, I asked if they would  mmind adding an egg which was no trouble at all. My husband had a sausage bap and the children shared another. I had a cup of tea and Stew had an Ethiopian drop coffee, all of which were simply delicious. An even bigger treat was that they were made of Kings Cliffe Bakery bread which is our local bakery.

The courtyard with picnic benches, a beautiful array of garden pots and umbrellas was lovely. After a yummy breakfast we walked down the road to see the viaduct and stumbled across some pigs and chickens. A fun walk for H and L! A perfect morning breakfast.

We decided (couldn’t resist!) to buy some cakes to takeaway for lunch which are all baked by Alice and boy, they did not disappoint. We bought two slices of Victoria sponge, a slice chocolate cake, a slice of carrot and a slice of coffee and amaretto cake. Delicious!

My picture doesn’t do them justice!

Simon and Alice were diligent and friendly hosts, nothing was too much. A real countryside haven. We will no doubt be back SOON! Thank you again.
Spokes Cafe, Wakerley Road, Harringworth.

How are you three?

Wow, I still can’t believe three years have passed since the day we met you.  It seems to have gone by in a flash.  On the one hand, I fondly remember all our adventures over the past three years; and on the other hand, I recoil in horror at how much time seems to have passed by in the blink of an eye. 


I remember everything about my labour and delivery with you like it was yesterday. The excitement on my due date at already being 2cm dilated, the anticipation of when the real labour would start, the drive to hospital, my dispair at how long it took, my first words when you came out (don’t ask), the exhaustion, being re-admitted to hospital with a case of jaundice, and finally coming home and enjoying my maternity leave.  I have taken great joy in sleepy cuddles (I still do!), laughed at being sprayed with wee, projectile poo on the walls, long summer walks with Reggie and our first family holiday as a three to France, your first steps, your baby sister coming along and how affectionate you are with her (although sometimes a bully!), our first holiday to Centre Parcs as a four, the bout of chicken pox you caught on your second birthday, learning to talk, your gorgeous smile, your endless independence and potty training.  It seems crazy that you are now three!

I seem to have a little boy now, rather than a baby boy.  Your speech has exploded in the 6 months and you are such a little chatter box, sometimes I can’t shut you up.  You have such a mischievous grin and do the funniest things, I can’t help but giggle at everything you do.  You’re so inquisitive and are constantly asking questions. 

I feel like we’ve jumped into boyhood these past few months, we have recently moved from nappies to ‘big boy’ pants. This has made you seem so grown up now you are independently taking yourself of to the toilet. Earlier in the year we dropped the nap, it took me a while to come to terms with it as it means the days are so full on with you and your sister. You still can’t manage the day without a wee catnap though, so we settle for a rest together in the afternoon whilst L sleeps and you often nod off on the sofa whilst watching your favourite tv show of the moment: Blaze and the Monster Machines or The Krats. I love looking at you sleep, you look so adorable and I feel like I can cling onto some of the baby years. It’s one of my secret nightly pleasures, sneaking a quick kiss and stroking head every night before bed. 

You’re starting to need me less and less, but I still love our nightly cuddles and stories, and our snuggles and tv at weekends.  Despite the lovely snuggles and cuddles, you can still test my patience; mealtimes are the worst. At home, you don’t have a vastly varied diet as I tend to just give you what I know you’ll eat. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with your fussiness, and the mantra ‘he’ll eat when he’s hungry’. 

With turning three comes the inevitable ‘threenager’ problems although these tantrums feel like they’ve been around for a good few months. You’re getting into the swing of having meltdowns over nothing, but generally you just whine about not getting your own way. There are constant squabbles between you and your sister not wanting to share which can get me down, but then it all gets washed away when you play so angelically together.  We’ve become accustomed with the naughty spot and naughty step recently, you don’t like it and I hate putting you on it, but for now it is working. 

Now you’re three, we enter your pre-school year in September, yes PRE-SCHOOL! The thought of you starting school next September fills me with horror. I can’t believe it’s happening NEXT YEAR! How has it happened so quickly. We are currently in the process of organising some sessions at our village pre school with all his friends. I’m excited for him to start attending pre school with his future school friends but also terrified at the thought it. Will he settle well? Will he enjoy it? Will he be upset when I leave him? Although I’m sure he’ll be fine as he’s a confident, independent little boy. 

All the days when you feel sad you’re not doing a good enough job. I then lie back at night and think about how beautfiul you are, how well mannered you are, how imaginative you are beginning to be when playing, how well you mix at nursery with your peers. I can relax a little and stop worrying about doing a bad job and whether you watch too much tv, aren’t interacting enough with your sister, not doing enough craft activities or educational learning. Well we’ve made it to theee unscathed. Hopefully the next year will slow down and we can enjoy yet more family adventures! 

For his birthday this year, we had a joint party with one his friends and Nanna and Grandad came over this weekend and we went to the beach, the farm and did some gardening. I real treat of a weekend. Building sand castles, rock pooling, paddling, fish and chips, tractor rides, picnics, play parks, piglet racing, animal feeding, scootering and digging. It went by in a flash but lots of memories made. 

Happy birthday my sweet little H. Keep being you and fly x x x


 

Potty Training: Part Two

Well, I’m hoping we’re almost at the finish line now, 4 weeks in….here are a few highs and lows:

Day Five

Impromptu to the park, I’d already established that with a boy we can ‘water the trees’ if necessary/desperate when out and about. So, my two siblings, parents and I with the 5 grandchildren went to the park after lunch to burn off some energy. All was going swimmingly until H had an accident (a no. 2 accident). I was ill prepared for everything, no wipes, spare clothes, nappies, nothing, nada! Being caught out, all I could think of was to take off his shorts and underpants and deposit the underpants (complete with turd) into the dog poo bin (I apologise to the council member/dog warden who has to empty that bin)!

Day Twenty-Four (yes, really!)

I LOST THE PLOT! It was first day ‘off’ with the kids and I was busy rushing around doing jobs (why do I do this on my day off!). Going to Asda to collect shopping because I was too cheap to pay for the delivery on a Friday, and waiting for a plumber. Two accidents in 15minutes despite asking H less than 5 minutes before if he needed the toilet. Theee accidents total by just after lunchtime led to me losing the plot and shouting at him for weeing on my carpet. This basically resulted in H crying and me feeling like utter crap and I put him in a nappy for the afternoon! 

 

But since then it has been great. Loads of days accident free and a few accidents, but more importantly, three weeks after we started we finally managed a poo on the toilet! Hoorah. He’s now started taking himself off independently for the toilet which is great, but we still have to remind him to go when he gets engrossed in playing. 

In hindsight, I don’t think H was ready, but we are hopefully out the other side now and still have some sanity left. I’m a little bit sad (not about changing a pooey nappy) that he feels more grown up now, like I’ve lost a bit of my baby. It will make me treasure the cuddles just that little bit more.